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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us Letting Go of Their Problems Loving Them Anyway and Getting on with Our Lives Jane Adams 9780743232814 Books

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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us Letting Go of Their Problems Loving Them Anyway and Getting on with Our Lives Jane Adams 9780743232814 Books

In my opinion - there is no one that can hurt you as much as your own child! I was feeling about as low as I could be when this book was recommended to me.
I have to admit that when I first started reading this book I almost quit - thinking the author was coming at this issue from too liberal of a position and that many parts of the book did not seem to apply to my current situation. But, something in me would not let me stop reading. I just kept reading & reading. I felt desperate to change what was happening in my life with my grown daughter.
It was as towards the end of the book that I found many of the answers I had been seeking. I could see our situation from a new perspective!
Since reading this book I have found a new way of dealing with our situation. I have caught myself before I am about to make a comment or giving unsolicited advice. Yet - I feel so much more empowered to live my own life!
I highly recommend this book and have given the title & author to others going through similar experiences. (In fact - I plan to by a few copies to have available to give out to other parents I know are hurting from issues with their grown children.)


Tags : When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives [Jane Adams] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. How do today’s parents cope when the dreams we had for our children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty- and even thirty-somethings who can’t seem to grow up? How can we help our depressed,Jane Adams,When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives,Free Press,074323281X,Parenting - Parent & Adult Child,APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY,Advice on parenting,Dating, relationships, living together & marriage,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Life Stages Mid-Life,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Parenting General,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Parenting Parent & Adult Child,Family & Relationships,Family Parenting Childbirth,FamilyMarriage,GENERAL,General Adult,Marriage & relationships,Non-Fiction,Parenting - General,SELF-HELP Emotions,SOCIAL INSTITUTIONS,Self Help,parenting; jane adams; dr. phil; adult children; grown children; grown kids living at home; failure to thrive; family relationships; I'm still your mother

When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us Letting Go of Their Problems Loving Them Anyway and Getting on with Our Lives Jane Adams 9780743232814 Books Reviews

It seems like most self help books spend several chapters on fluff....but not this book! It jumps right into very useful information. Very easy to read and was really uplifting to hear the advice! Thank you!
There is much focus on how 'the estranged parentis hurt. And explains how manipulation plays a big part. Often other players are responsible for the alienstion.such as a spouse. Surprised to learn I am among many estranged parents that are in this dilemma.
I've read a lot of books on parenting and the struggles of adult kids not adjusting well to adulthood and this is one of the best by far, It helps parents deal with guilt and how to have a better relationship with their adult children.
There aren't that many books around that deal with grown children - how to handle their problems without being the solution always for them. How to set boundaries, how to stop being their safety net and bailing them out well into their 20s (or even 30s!). How to let go, including letting go of their problems, and letting them handle their own lives without always rescuing them. Especially the ones who seem to need rescuing and can't seem to get life together on their own.

That's why I ordered this book - it was one of the few I found that addressed this specific situation. There were things I liked about the book - it's very supportive in that, you feel that many other people are in the place you are, and feeling what you're feeling. The author is very good about getting to all the reasons WHY we have to let go of helping/rescuing our grown children and get on with our own lives, and why being their safety net is helping feed the delay of their own independence, even enabling them not to do it themselves. She is very good about telling why we need to let go - but the problem is that there's very little in this book that tells us HOW.

There are a LOT of case studies in this book. I mean a lot - I would say the content is probably 3/4 case studies, at least. That's way too much. It's very helpful to read stories of others, and again to feel that sense of not being alone and see what others are dealing with. But most of the people in the studies haven't seemed to have figured out how to deal with their situation, either. There were only one or two who had cut the figurative umbilical cord. Most were just as lost as us, the readers are.

I just wish that the author provided more advice, more practical guidelines and tools, that told us HOW to do the things she advises we do - and which I would guess most readers of a book like this WANT to do. It feels like this is only half of a book - the first half, being awareness of the need to change. But what is lacking is the second half of most such self-help books, where we are given tools and practical advise for actual action steps we can take and things we can do to make it happen.

So it was helpful and worth reading if you're going through this - but don't expect to learn much about what to do next to actually address the problem. It's more of a "get to the realization that you need to change" book, but it doesn't do much to help you learn HOW to change.
I have struggled for many years with my grown child’s addiction. This book helps with that struggle. I would recommend this book to anyone who has a grown child with issues that prevent the them (the parent) from moving on. It’s a great read and helps in giving one piece of mind.
This book will set you or your spouse free if guilt exists. Great in dispelling false responsibility. It addresses many types of disappointments and provides meaningful methods in dealing with one's thoughts as well as learning to change your interactions with a son, daughter or step-child. Tired of making excuses for a son/daughter's bad behavior? Tired of being taken advantage of or supporting an adult son/daughter? Has your "kid" played upon your feelings to get something from you? Can you tell if your adult kids need help or are using you? Jane Adams' book is a real assessment of such situations and helps the affected parent deal with the issues. This book helped save one marriage I know !
This was helpful...just not the entire book. It did give me pointers on how to communicate better with my 30 something year old adult children. It seems in the age of social media, mom doesn’t know best or even close now our kids have Google to give them life advice about themselves and our grandchildren. Crazy I know, but this book does address on how to get your point across without “insulting “ them. ???
In my opinion - there is no one that can hurt you as much as your own child! I was feeling about as low as I could be when this book was recommended to me.
I have to admit that when I first started reading this book I almost quit - thinking the author was coming at this issue from too liberal of a position and that many parts of the book did not seem to apply to my current situation. But, something in me would not let me stop reading. I just kept reading & reading. I felt desperate to change what was happening in my life with my grown daughter.
It was as towards the end of the book that I found many of the answers I had been seeking. I could see our situation from a new perspective!
Since reading this book I have found a new way of dealing with our situation. I have caught myself before I am about to make a comment or giving unsolicited advice. Yet - I feel so much more empowered to live my own life!
I highly recommend this book and have given the title & author to others going through similar experiences. (In fact - I plan to by a few copies to have available to give out to other parents I know are hurting from issues with their grown children.)